Have you ever wondered when to walk away from a person or situation? Let me tell you, friend… God knows.
Jesus had a Judas (a toxic person in his life, a betrayer). Jesus loved him. Jesus served him. And there also came a moment where Jesus said to Judas to “go do what you are going to do.” In other words, stop faking it and do what you came here to do.
My story post the other day about toxic people, that you can now find in my faith highlight on Instagram, came from a place of both experiencing toxicity and watching it happen present and in my past. As well, it came from a place of knowing how hard it is to NOT become codependent but also, still be able to wholeheartedly love toxic people.
When processing toxicity it is absolutely essential that you see your own toxicity and the potential for all people to be toxic and hold onto the humility that the truth brings. But here’s the thing, not all people are toxic to a degree of abuse or stopping you from serving God.
Any teaching or writing I do about walking away from relationships that are toxic is meant for people who are being STOPPED from serving the Lord by being abused and being taken from, to a degree that they are consistently or cyclically being crushed in spirit by the toxic individual(s).
Yes, Jesus loved Judas. Yes, He served him but Jesus never allowed Judas to stop Jesus from His mission in the mission field by way of Jesus not having boundaries with him. Jesus never allowed Judas to have authority over Him and how He spent His time and energy.
He was intentional about individuals and groups having or not having access to Him. He made room for healthy space and that allowed Jesus to be able to continue to serve Judas until the time came to call him out for what he was and told Judas to “go do what he was to do.”
In Christian circles, there is not enough conversation about when it’s time to let go. We focus on trying to be God by being in unconditionally loving relationships when only God is capable of being truly unconditional and is not capable of being abused or even held back from His mission. We are neither of those things. We ARE capable of being both abused and held back from God’s mission at any moment in our life And so we must allow God to protect and heal us by using wisdom and intentionality in who we allow access to us and when.
We are to love all, even our enemies, but not be in relationship with all. That’s God’s job.
God has been leading me in this for several years; How to serve God by serving broken and toxic people.
One thing I have found is, it is so important to know that you yourself are imperfect and to keep that at the front of your mind. To serve in humility and to also be willing to listen to God about when it’s time to serve God by walking away. My friend, know that walking away is also a service to Him. It’s just different than before but while still loving.
There is a great book called, When to walk away, finding freedom from toxic people.
It’s amazing I finished it last year and it really helps in understanding this exact topic we are talking about today.
I tell EVERYONE to first read it from the viewpoint of how they themselves are toxic and then read it from how the others around you are toxic because we are to “take a log out of our own eye before the speck others.”
Be willing to work on your log for many years before God tells you it’s time to focus on the others’ speck.
But we are still called to the speck when God tells us that the time has come.
Brothers and sisters. We have a GOOD GOOD Father and He loves the people you love more than you do. Trust Him enough to have boundaries. Be healthy in your service and relationships. You are precious and worthy of guarding your heart. For it IS the wellspring of life. Don’t let people suck it dry. Jesus has far too much to do in and through you for that.
Be bold, be brave, be courageous. Remembering that in all you do HE IS WITH YOU!
XO Sara